


The Gamble of Friendship

by loquaciouslass



Category: Five Nights at Freddy's
Genre: Comedy, Humour, Masturbation, Other, multiple references to britain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-26
Updated: 2017-12-26
Packaged: 2019-02-22 01:42:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13156494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loquaciouslass/pseuds/loquaciouslass
Summary: It's hard to be William's friend.





	The Gamble of Friendship

**Author's Note:**

> William's great because there's nothing I can give him as a fan theory that's worse than what he's like in canon. Have a dude jackin' off to a mechanical rabbit.

Walking into William’s house is a gamble at any time of the day.

It’s a nice enough house, nicer than the one they shared for a very unfortunate year in England, but it’s _William’s house_ and William Afton is about as reasonable as the average street preacher even on a good day. And a good day is no guarantee that his house is safe, perish the thought! More than once Henry has knocked, and William is there with a bright smile, red eyes, and a brick.

Henry does not like to think about the brick. Henry doesn’t like to think about many things in William’s house. It’s a patchwork of another country inside; imported chocolate wrappers scattered on the floor, a hellscape of battered plastic with one triumphant rabbit in a little blue coat glaring at the salt-shakers and metal men that dared to tread on its territory. There’s a mess of mugs in the kitchen, and someone’s left the milk out again. Probably William. But the kettle still feels warm, and there’s a teabag in the cup (it has the same rabbit that was reigning supreme on the toy battlefield on it), so not only is it probably William that’s forgotten to put the milk back, he’s forgotten tea.

Henry thinks that might be some sort of crime where William’s from. God knows the man gets defensive about his leaf water.

Still, he slots the milk back into the fridge. He doesn’t want surprise cheese coffee. William is full of terrible surprises even when he’s in a good mood, like when Henry knocked to the beat of “the bright side of life” and William had assumed he was a bounty hunter.

He put that in the same place as the brick, and the knife, and the Bonnie puppet. He’d gotten a key from it though. A bit like getting a single sticker after having a tooth violently ripped out.

He shakes his head and explores the downstairs a little, stepping over the valiant fallen toys (right, yes, they were from some sci-fi William liked in England) and wondering where the hell he is. He’s got all sorts of nooks and crannies to hide in, like a particularly skittish rabbit. And good god, there’s way too many rabbits in his house- they’re everywhere, from the walls to the furniture to the cups and horrifying commanders destroying the poor alien robots.

It’s kind of shitty that Henry genuinely can’t tell if the tableaux’s been set up by William or Elizabeth. It could be both.

There’s a soft moan. The dying song of the heroic aliens and their final stand against the bunny tyrant.

And then there’s a grunt and creak. Henry pinches his brow.

Comes around wanting to talk about some Christmas decorations and if they have the money, and of course he picks the day William remembers he has a dick. Great. Wonderful. Is it more or less awkward to stay downstairs and get an uncomfortable boner because he can hear the guy or go upstairs and hang around with an awkward boner?

Oh what the hell, he’s here, William is upstairs and jerking off, and Henry just wants to go home because the Afton family kids are going to be home soon and that’s always a rollercoaster of bad decisions and existential despair.

“William! I’m coming up!”

So up he goes, expecting to see some kind of frantic zipper action and a bright red face.

He doesn’t see that. He sees William, sprawled out on his bed with a sexy pinup of Spring Bonnie in one hand and his flush dick with his other. He has his lips pursed together and is frowning, like an unimpressed teacher, at Henry. The Bonnie hand puppet, the gold one, looks slightly damp.

Henry files that away in his vault of repressed memories.

“Can I help you?” Snaps William, making no move to cover himself. “I was having a private moment.”

Henry coughs.

“You didn’t make your tea.”

“You don’t make tea with absolutely boiling water.”

“Well. Fine.” Henry pauses. William resumes stroking his cock, if slowly, and never drops his gaze from Henry. “I wanted to discuss finances. For the Christmas decorations.”

“Go on then!” William says, throwing up his sexy rabbit pinup. “You’re here, I’m here, what are you thinking of doing? I’ve got a rabbit toy I was hoping to use, somewhere, and I’m still looking forwards to that.”

“Erm-“

“I have a lot of kids, Henry! I don’t get that much alone time!”

“I. William?”

“Yes?”

“Did you ever consider...stopping jacking off when I called up to you?”

“Why the hell would I do that?”

“…Because most people…don’t jack off in front of their friends?”

William levels him with a look. It’s a look born of many nights hunched over the same toilet, throwing up, and more than one tearful hand-hold as someone expelled something best left forgotten from their arse.

“You know what, I think I’ll come back later.”

“Excellent. Please toss me the lube on the way out, I left it by the door when I was slicking up the-“

Henry throws it at his head and closes the door.

Fucking William.


End file.
